“Not all relationships are created equal.” ⚖️
An object in motion,
stays in motion, 🚴
but after ten years together, we were stuck in a pattern that wasn’t serving the growth of our relationship.
Something had to give. I needed to address my frustration. I needed to inquire about his.
So I put my vulnerable hat on a few months ago,
and said something.
“Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.” 🗣
For the record, how you start a conversation dictates how the end result looks. 👀
I made several failed attempts over the past years in addressing certain things and was getting nowhere. Nothing was changing.
My frustration levels were rising, and my approach often had a tone of blame which ultimately created a defensive response from my partner.
“It’s all about the delivery...”
So I started recognizing our accomplishments as a couple 👩❤️👨 over our 10 years together, and how important it was to grow and evolve over the next 10 years of our relationship. His response was remarkably different!
“Stay committed to uncomfortable conversation with each other. It does pass.”
What it comes down to is,
being an effective communicator, 🗣
listening with intent, 👂
being okay with each other’s vulnerability, 🎯
and identifying what each of our core values are individually, and together as a couple.
“To accomplish growth, it requires awareness.”
It takes patience and grace. 🙏
And it takes getting comfortable in the uncomfortable first so you can set the stage for an aligned evolution with one another.
But most of all,
It mandates commitment with intention
from BOTH parties.
Ask each other , “What makes our relationship the best?”
“Are you interested in making your relationship better each day?”
-IDENTIFY each of your core values and bring them to the relationship table to discuss why they are important to you. If you don’t know the “Why?”, there won’t be intent.
-SCHEDULE weekly conversations dedicated to improving your relationship.
-PLAN weekly adventures.
Yegge and I alternate surprising one another with weekly one-day adventures. We plan excursions to places we’ve never been before. This week was my turn for picking our adventure destination.
For as long as I’ve lived here, I’ve never been to Pretty Place. I wanted to see the sunrise there. So we woke up at 4:30 am and hit the road. And it was awesome!!
Through our adventures, we are rediscovering what we love most about each other. It’s providing opportunity for more conversations, laughter and excitement.
Nothing changes if nothing changes, so it was time to speak up and do something different and I’m so glad I did! I can’t wait to see where were off to next week!
