This weekend
I was challenged. Through the
challenge, I was awakened.The fear and
anxiety had not hit me until I was in bed on Friday night anticipating the 2:45
am alarm to sound. The only thoughts that were swirling were "Am I
crazy?", "Will I finish?" and "How the hell did I get roped
into this?" As we piled into the
vans that transported us to the beginning of the trail, I prayed, "Please
God, don’t let me die." Fear and faith have a lot
in common. I decided to let the faith
prevail.
We started
with a group photo and once the flash went off, we lined up in order to start.
Headlamps adjusted, packs tightened up, a team picture snapped and we were
off...
...Off into
the darkness and ambiguity of the many peaks and valleys that lay ahead. I kept
my eyes at my feet and on the trail and glanced up at one point to see how the
headlamps lined up the trail. People lit
up the trail for the one behind them. In
darkness, there is light...
The first
few miles in the dark were cathartic. My mind, gradually cleansed of the
anxiety I was initially feeling as I ventured onto the trail. I focused on my
feet and alerted those behind me of the roots, rocks, water, and trees. As the
sun began to rise, I had realized that I had unknowingly adjusted to the dark
conditions. I did what I needed to do because I had no other choice but to walk
forward at that time. I thought of the Wish Kids and their families doing what
they have to do to get through their darkness. My every step was symbolic of
each of their strides through adversity. When the sun rose, I awakened to the
change of conditions on the trail. I began conversing with others and was
cognizant of what was ahead of me...Aid Station #1-around the 5-mile mark.
Taking a
bathroom break, filling water, changing socks and shoes and hoarding those
amazing creations called "Uncrustables". Yes. I said it. They are
amazing. Being a bit of a food snob, I had never had an Uncrustable in my life.
I told my team that I did not like them, and you would have thought I told them
that I had committed a horrific crime! However, I
was so hungry by the time I got to Aid Station #1 that I caved. I am happy to report that I am a believer!
With a goal
in mind (to finish!), I promptly set off for the next leg which was
approximately 6 miles. This part of the hike was the most enjoyable part for
me. When I say enjoyable, I mean that
nothing really hurt. My mind was clear and I was enjoying the sound of the
breeze through the trees and listening to the rapids of the Chattooga River. It distracted me from what was ahead. For the
first time in a very long time, I was actually living in the moment without
being interrupted by thought of work, kids, and social media.
I thought
about particular times in my childhood. Walking to school, going to my
grandmothers to visit and eating her homemade cookies, wearing matching outfits
that my mother made for the whole family. My mind was flooding with memories
that I had not thought of since they had occurred. It was refreshing to escape.
And it was then when my "What am I
doing?" questions at the base of the mountain began to be answered.
I thought
about the Wish Kids, and how Make-A-Wish helps families trek through their
child’s illness a little easier by granting specific wishes. Before I knew it, I was at Aid Station
#2. It was then that I took advantage of
the incredible pampering by the Make-A-Wish volunteers. I sat down and I felt
like a NASCAR racecar driver. My feet were taped up to prevent blisters; they
changed my socks and shoes, filled my water and provided words of encouragement.
All I had to do was grab another Uncrustable and I was on my way. Next stop,
mile #22!
This part of
the hike was completely different experience for me. The roots were really
beginning to affect my feet. There were many steps up and many steps down. My
ankles and knees were starting to ache. I was getting aggravated as we were
walking along the river because I was too pre-occupied with the pain to enjoy
the beauty. If I wanted to make it to
Aid Station #3 by 3 pm, I needed to focus on my steps on the narrow trail. The
more I walked, the more bothered I became.
At that moment, I thought of the Wish families. How many times do they
miss the opportunity to enjoy the scenery? It was then
that I had the epiphany about why I was there and began to understand how
brilliant of an organization that Make-A-Wish is!
Two lovely
volunteers with two different styles of motivation greeted us at Mile #22. One
was cheering us on as he filled water. The other was coaching as she handed
over the most delicious cold, peeled Halo oranges. As wonderful as it was, the
delirium set it. To this moment, I still
do not know if that was really Mile #22 or #21. Regardless, I think it was to
distract us from what was ahead. There was another mile and a half to Aid
Station #3 and no joke, at that point everything felt like it was uphill. To be honest, it was the prospect of being
pampered by the volunteers that forged me forward. I will tell you that it was
the longest mile and a half I had ever walked. I was in pain. I was frustrated
and emotional. Nevertheless, my thought
process was different. I was not
thinking of myself, I was thinking of the Wish Kids and their
families. At that very moment, I truly
dedicated each remaining step to them. I stepped outside of myself and thought
of Skyla, Mason, Ben and the stories of other Wish Kids. My thoughts interrupted by cheers… relief
from Aid Station # 3 was in the near distance.
I plopped
into a chair for my wheels to be changed and my vehicle fueled for the final
leg of the challenge.
"But those who trust in the
LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They
will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
-Isaiah
40:31
I prayed a
lot during this leg. The ironic part about it was that at the starting line, I
was asking why I was even there. Over 22 miles of evolving thoughts, I awakened
to exactly why.
In between
my internal cries for healing to my feet, ankles and knees, I found myself
consistently pleading, "Please God, help me to remember why I'm
here?!"
In the last
6 miles, I learned that I was in the right place at the right time when this
opportunity to participate arose. I was one of dozens of hikers, who was chosen
to be transformed this weekend. Next to
giving birth to my children, this was one of the most life altering experiences
I have ever had.
What started
out as just as what my father referred to as just a "walk in the
woods" evolved into a deceptively simple story that provided me with some
some deep encounters, conversations and lessons with myself, my friends and
strangers. Over 28.3
miles, I silenced my phone on airplane mode and remarkable things occurred. I
thought of things and people that really mattered.
Initially my
goal was to finish. In the last 6 miles, I reflected on why I wanted to finish.
I could attribute it to my competitive
nature, but it ultimately was for the Wish Families. It was for the generous donors who helped me
exceed my fundraising goal of $2,500. It was for
the awareness of Make-A-Wish and the selfless work they do to make kids wishes
come true.
Throughout
the hike, I practiced principles, and applied practical tools to my hiking
experience and recognize the impact the experience now has on my own life to
change it for the better. What began as
a deceptively simple "walk in the woods", progressed into a pithy yet
empowering trek in the mountains. When this
started, I was awake with fear. I now sleep with more faith in humanity and me. This weekend I was reassured that there are
some truly solid people in this world.
On Saturday
morning, I was showered and clean and status quo. By Saturday evening, I was
filthy. I was pained and broken but I was stronger, wiser and more aware of
what really matters in the world. I was vulnerable but today I am victorious
after a 28.3-mile "walk in the woods."
The world is
full of roots, rocks, water and trees
Dig deep to
find strong roots
Use the
rocks for support
Drink the
water for nourishment
You have a
choice to be
A fallen
tree
Or to
flourish
I choose to
flourish
Forever a Trailblazer!
Thank you to
the SC Make-A-Wish Chapter, their Wish kids and families for allowing me this
opportunity to help. Please know that by helping you, you have given back
to me more than I had ever expected! I will be
back next spring with a lot more fire in my belly to double what I raised this
year. The fight in you has inspired the fight in me.
