No. I'm not talking about a Prince. The "will" I am talking about has to do with the purpose and the determination of my pageant wannabe ten year old. The crown refers to the one worn by that child after competing in The Miss Wade Hampton Beauty Pageant.
Anyone close to me knows that I am a very supportive, encouraging and positive parent, however when it comes to beauty pageants, I sing a completely different tune. I secretly curse the producers of Toddlers & Tiaras for the pageant spell they casted on my daughter. The pageant nonsense goes totally against the grain of who I am and what I stand for. I just don't think anyone should be judged on what they look like. Lord knows that happens on a daily basis already. Why subject ourselves or our children to anymore of that. I believe that there is so much more to us than physical beauty. And on Saturday, my Torie demonstrated that to everyone she met.
After numerous requests to enter a pageant, I compromised with her and offered to send her to Millie Lewis Modeling and Acting School. However, the twelve weeks of classes flew by way too fast and it seemed to have in fact fueled the fire of her desire to be in a pageant even more. Thankfully she was distracted most of the Summer due to traveling and camp but on the first day of school, she came home and told me that she had filled out paperwork for a beauty pageant. Thinking that she would get away with it and sway me to say yes, I adamantly declined her request and flippantly said "Call your father and ask him!" His track record had not been too great with funding anything for the past four years so I was certain that he wouldn't have the money nor the wearwithal to help a pageant queen out. Thinking that I had put the nail in the beauty's coffin, I excused myself and went back to work. I could hear her on the phone with him requesting the funding for her quest towards pageant royalty and I was thinking how mean it was of me to send her to a stone to get some blood. But just then, a miracle did occur...He actually said yes and said he would call and register her for the pageant.
And so the story of the quest for the crown lives on...
As I wiped my hands completely clean of any pageant responsibility other than showing up, I felt relieved. For the first time in 5 years, this kid's father was going to actually take part and be present in something significant. I can't give him all the credit though. He is dating an awesome woman who I really like and whom I never want to leave. She's the wife I always wanted! She has a job, she provides him with a nice home and since she's come along, he has lost my number. I love her for that and I never want them to break up. But most of all, I like her because she genuinely loves my kids and she ultimately has become the co-dependent wife and pageant mom that I never wanted to be!
Torie had spent the night at her father's and his girlfriend's house and prepared for the pageant that morning. All I had to do was show up! And that I did.
I am very proud to say that my ex's girlfriend and I were the only women who were NOT wearing sweats and "Torie" tee shirts and holding up home made signs that said "Work It!" In fact, none of that was necessary because Torie already knew her name, she knew we were cheering for her and she surely knew how to work it!
I am not just saying this because she is my kid but my child walked into her first pageant with the most tasteful bout of confidence I had ever seen. She looked me square in the eyes and said, "Mom, I am going to win this thing!" I told her to just do her best and to focus only on herself and not what anyone else does. And that is exactly what she did and with such grace. It amazes me that this child was so confident especially after all of the pageant jabs she had taken from her brother and sister for the past year.
I took my seat in the audience with my son beside me and his father next to him and watched the pageant walk of forty other girls. They varied in styles, attractiveness and confidence levels, however all were unique in their own way. And again, those who know me will understand that I am not being mean when I say that Torie is a beautiful child but there were some drop dead gorgeous children on that stage with her. And this is a very important point as I start my decent and land the plane on this story.
Despite what anybody else looked like, the confidence Torie displayed was jaw dropping. I am not kidding you when I tell you that I was speechless (which is pretty much impossible). If there was a thought bubble over that child's head, it would have screamed:
"I believe in myself enough to win that crown. I have practiced and prepared endlessly for this day and for that reason I stand out. I am the best on this stage, I know why I am here and nobody else stands a chance!"
And with that being said, I learned some very valuable lessons from a ten year old this weekend and I am compelled to share them with all of you:
1. If this is the start of a pageant career for Torie, It is confirmed that karma truly is a bitch because my ex-husband will be the "go to" guy for those requests. Like I said, my only responsibility is to show up.
2. It's not only about how good you look but how good you feel and that's what translates!
3. If you want something so bad, go for it. Passion is a requirement for attaining any goal.
4. Don't waste your energy trying to put the nail in the coffin of anyone's dreams. If they want it bad enough, nobody will be able to stop them because where there's a will, there's a way and in Torie's case - there is a crown!
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