Game, (Mind) SET, Match!

Being from NY, this time of year is always memorable for me.  There’s a distinct feeling in the fall air and the stellar sunsets over Long Island Sound that trigger childhood memories of attending The US Open each year.  I haven’t been to The US Open in the past 15 years, but each year I tune in for 2-weeks straight, watching intently as athletes rise and fall through the brackets of their dreams of being the champion on Arthur Ashe Stadium’s center court.

Photo credit: Darren Carroll/USTA

This weekend, I witnessed what I consider not only to be the most exemplary state of athleticism, but one of a stellar and unbreakable, mindset.  Admittedly, I am somewhat ashamed of initially passing judgement on the 23-year old Russian, Daniile Medvedev who was described as a “villain” in The New York Post for making rude gestures to the crowd heckling him in a previous match that week. He just struck me as a “punk”.  I was pulling for Rafa Nadal anyway, who is currently ranked No. 2 in the world in men’s singles tennis.  But as the match progressed, my perception of Medvedev changed drastically as the commentators were writing Medvedev off and prematurely claiming victory for Nadal.  Suddenly, I was won over by the “villainous punk”, and I found myself cheering for him as I witnessed the most admirable turn around in any sport I had ever seen.  I was intrigued by the mindset of the young Russian, and how he magically willed his mind and his body to fight back after getting kicked down in the first two sets.  What was even more impressive was the way Nadal responded as he raised his game even higher.  Mad respect for both players!

Medvedev ultimately ended up losing the match however he earned tremendous recognition from the tough crowd who were heckling the “villain” earlier that week.  News headlines now include him in the category of “warrior” along with his fearless opponent, Rafa Nadal.  The levels of athleticism and displays of mastered mindsets were beyond admirable and equally inspiring.

 

So it provoked me to question myself… “How deep can you dig?”  As I witnessed the adversity and challenge that Nadal gave Medvedev, I reflected on what moves me to dig deeper in order to achieve a stronger and more disciplined mindset in my personal and professional life.  Medvedev learned that he had more in his emotional and physical tank than he ever imagined.  He even said in an interview that after losing the first two sets, he struggled with what he was going to say in his speech when he lost the third set.  He was then interrupted by the visualization of being a champion stewing inside him, and before you knew it, the battle begun as Medvedev transformed and became not only a master of the court, but a master of his mind.  Although the fight was over with a win by Nadal, the battle was not lost by Medvedev.  The 23-year old Russian has nothing to be ashamed of.  I’m convinced that this isn’t the last we will see of him.

It’s no wonder why such renowned companies sponsor and align themselves with The US Open.    Whether you are a financial institution that provides the highest quality of service, a consulting firm specializing in innovation, a healthcare system acclaimed for excellence in research, patient care and education, a Swiss watch manufacturer that prides itself on performance and prestige, or a technology company that is tasked with delivering increased productivity with artificial intelligence…The environment and mindset are what differentiates them from competitors.  It is mindset that determines the precision of their overall performance and the reliability of reaching goals.

  

If you and your company were on center court, would your mindset be a one of a Champion?

Roots, Rocks, Water & Trees – Not your average walk in the woods

This weekend I was challenged.  Through the challenge, I was awakened.The fear and anxiety had not hit me until I was in bed on Friday night anticipating the 2:45 am alarm to sound. The only thoughts that were swirling were "Am I crazy?", "Will I finish?" and "How the hell did I get roped into this?"  As we piled into the vans that transported us to the beginning of the trail, I prayed, "Please God, don’t let me die." Fear and faith have a lot in common.  I decided to let the faith prevail. 

We started with a group photo and once the flash went off, we lined up in order to start. Headlamps adjusted, packs tightened up, a team picture snapped and we were off...

...Off into the darkness and ambiguity of the many peaks and valleys that lay ahead. I kept my eyes at my feet and on the trail and glanced up at one point to see how the headlamps lined up the trail.  People lit up the trail for the one behind them.  In darkness, there is light...

The first few miles in the dark were cathartic. My mind, gradually cleansed of the anxiety I was initially feeling as I ventured onto the trail. I focused on my feet and alerted those behind me of the roots, rocks, water, and trees. As the sun began to rise, I had realized that I had unknowingly adjusted to the dark conditions. I did what I needed to do because I had no other choice but to walk forward at that time. I thought of the Wish Kids and their families doing what they have to do to get through their darkness. My every step was symbolic of each of their strides through adversity. When the sun rose, I awakened to the change of conditions on the trail. I began conversing with others and was cognizant of what was ahead of me...Aid Station #1-around the 5-mile mark. 

Taking a bathroom break, filling water, changing socks and shoes and hoarding those amazing creations called "Uncrustables". Yes. I said it. They are amazing. Being a bit of a food snob, I had never had an Uncrustable in my life. I told my team that I did not like them, and you would have thought I told them that I had committed a horrific crime!  However, I was so hungry by the time I got to Aid Station #1 that I caved.  I am happy to report that I am a believer!

With a goal in mind (to finish!), I promptly set off for the next leg which was approximately 6 miles. This part of the hike was the most enjoyable part for me.  When I say enjoyable, I mean that nothing really hurt. My mind was clear and I was enjoying the sound of the breeze through the trees and listening to the rapids of the Chattooga River.  It distracted me from what was ahead. For the first time in a very long time, I was actually living in the moment without being interrupted by thought of work, kids, and social media. 

I thought about particular times in my childhood. Walking to school, going to my grandmothers to visit and eating her homemade cookies, wearing matching outfits that my mother made for the whole family. My mind was flooding with memories that I had not thought of since they had occurred. It was refreshing to escape.  And it was then when my "What am I doing?" questions at the base of the mountain began to be answered. 

I thought about the Wish Kids, and how Make-A-Wish helps families trek through their child’s illness a little easier by granting specific wishes.  Before I knew it, I was at Aid Station #2.  It was then that I took advantage of the incredible pampering by the Make-A-Wish volunteers. I sat down and I felt like a NASCAR racecar driver. My feet were taped up to prevent blisters; they changed my socks and shoes, filled my water and provided words of encouragement. All I had to do was grab another Uncrustable and I was on my way. Next stop, mile #22!

This part of the hike was completely different experience for me. The roots were really beginning to affect my feet. There were many steps up and many steps down. My ankles and knees were starting to ache. I was getting aggravated as we were walking along the river because I was too pre-occupied with the pain to enjoy the beauty.  If I wanted to make it to Aid Station #3 by 3 pm, I needed to focus on my steps on the narrow trail. The more I walked, the more bothered I became.  At that moment, I thought of the Wish families. How many times do they miss the opportunity to enjoy the scenery?  It was then that I had the epiphany about why I was there and began to understand how brilliant of an organization that Make-A-Wish is!  

Two lovely volunteers with two different styles of motivation greeted us at Mile #22. One was cheering us on as he filled water. The other was coaching as she handed over the most delicious cold, peeled Halo oranges. As wonderful as it was, the delirium set it.  To this moment, I still do not know if that was really Mile #22 or #21. Regardless, I think it was to distract us from what was ahead. There was another mile and a half to Aid Station #3 and no joke, at that point everything felt like it was uphill.  To be honest, it was the prospect of being pampered by the volunteers that forged me forward. I will tell you that it was the longest mile and a half I had ever walked. I was in pain. I was frustrated and emotional.  Nevertheless, my thought process was different.  I was not thinking of myself, I was thinking of the Wish Kids and their families.  At that very moment, I truly dedicated each remaining step to them. I stepped outside of myself and thought of Skyla, Mason, Ben and the stories of other Wish Kids.  My thoughts interrupted by cheers… relief from Aid Station # 3 was in the near distance. 

I plopped into a chair for my wheels to be changed and my vehicle fueled for the final leg of the challenge. 

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

-Isaiah 40:31

I prayed a lot during this leg. The ironic part about it was that at the starting line, I was asking why I was even there. Over 22 miles of evolving thoughts, I awakened to exactly why. 

In between my internal cries for healing to my feet, ankles and knees, I found myself consistently pleading, "Please God, help me to remember why I'm here?!"  

In the last 6 miles, I learned that I was in the right place at the right time when this opportunity to participate arose. I was one of dozens of hikers, who was chosen to be transformed this weekend.  Next to giving birth to my children, this was one of the most life altering experiences I have ever had. 

What started out as just as what my father referred to as just a "walk in the woods" evolved into a deceptively simple story that provided me with some some deep encounters, conversations and lessons with myself, my friends and strangers.  Over 28.3 miles, I silenced my phone on airplane mode and remarkable things occurred. I thought of things and people that really mattered. 

Initially my goal was to finish. In the last 6 miles, I reflected on why I wanted to finish.  I could attribute it to my competitive nature, but it ultimately was for the Wish Families.  It was for the generous donors who helped me exceed my fundraising goal of $2,500.  It was for the awareness of Make-A-Wish and the selfless work they do to make kids wishes come true. 

Throughout the hike, I practiced principles, and applied practical tools to my hiking experience and recognize the impact the experience now has on my own life to change it for the better.  What began as a deceptively simple "walk in the woods", progressed into a pithy yet empowering trek in the mountains. When this started, I was awake with fear. I now sleep with more faith in humanity and me.   This weekend I was reassured that there are some truly solid people in this world. 

On Saturday morning, I was showered and clean and status quo. By Saturday evening, I was filthy. I was pained and broken but I was stronger, wiser and more aware of what really matters in the world. I was vulnerable but today I am victorious after a 28.3-mile "walk in the woods."

The world is full of roots, rocks, water and trees

Dig deep to find strong roots 

Use the rocks for support

Drink the water for nourishment

You have a choice to be

A fallen tree

Or to flourish

I choose to flourish

Forever a Trailblazer!

Thank you to the SC Make-A-Wish Chapter, their Wish kids and families for allowing me this opportunity to help. Please know that by helping you, you have given back to me more than I had ever expected!  I will be back next spring with a lot more fire in my belly to double what I raised this year. The fight in you has inspired the fight in me.

Altered State

Previously preoccupied with the thought of the prospect of flying tomorrow to Boston for a business trip, I am grateful to have received an invitation to visit a friend in Maine first. (Actually, I invited myself ).  So I sit on American Airlines flight 3987 flying through Philly and onto Portland.  I reflect, still in awe over September 11, 2001.  Fifteen years later, the wounds are still so raw requiring larger doses of hydrogen peroxide and antibiotics the minute Labor Day festivities end.  I feel it lurking.  The fall weather, the sunrises, the sunsets and even the play lists on the radio trigger feelings that I compartmentalize most of the year.  Literally, I brace myself for the impact of what is truly indescribable. 

Occasionally in my travels, I am asked where I am from.  My answer - “New York” - tends to create a knee jerk response, “Were you there on “that” day?” Each time, I am reluctant as I repeat my story because I feel as if I am reliving it all over again.  Even 15 years later, I try to comprehend the magnitude of what happened to our Country, and me, my ex-husband, our Wall Street friends, a boss who lost his dad, a client who lost her twin brother, and the experiences of so many close friends and acquaintances.

You see, I never know how it is going to hit me.  I’ve said this before, but three hundred and sixty-four days of the year, I quietly mourn and optimistically think that “this year’s anniversary will be different”!   Fifteen years later, my optimism quarrels with my sadness, anger, and dismay over it all.  I question which direction I am going to take it this year when somebody asks me about that dreaded day.  

We can never erase that day and the effect those events have had on our lives.  Millions of Americans went to bed 15 years ago oblivious to how the next day was going to unfold.  Our days following that horrific day are no different than September 10^th, 2001 - so live life to the fullest with love, kindness and gratitude in your hearts.  We will never be the same but we are required to move onward – so we do…in an altered state but we never forget.

A New Year Reflection

Forgive me for being a little late to the 2016 FB post about the New Year. I'm still in a bit of a food coma but finally returning to reality. I have also been mulling over several posts that I've seen on Facebook from people expressing relief about 2015 being behind them and how they intend to "tackle" 2016.  Some of them carrying a variety of tones including anger, desperation even an exhausted whininess about them.

With all due respect, I get it but the FB posts over pretending or wishing life experiences never happened is equivalent to nails on a chalk board to me. I've experienced consecutive years like that and I think as a result of my attitude, maybe my view on them is somewhat different. In fact, I even did some research on my New Year's FB posts of years' past and saw that not once did I bitch about what happened that year. In fact, I sensed a tremendous amount of gratitude for the paths that it put me on.  However, I will admit that the darkest moments in my life could have been interpreted as a black comedy through my cynicism. There were a few that I actually LOL'd over and several posts included #youcantmakethisshitup! Because honestly you couldn't!!!  It still could make for some great sitcom material. 

Twenty years ago I began a new chapter in my life, preparing for the so called "fairy tale" sharing my life with my so called "Prince". I had the hopes and dreams that most girls have in their 20's have to start a family and live happily ever after.

I realize now that through some nightmares came new dreams. I was fortunate enough to have three beautiful children but unfortunately my "prince" turned into a frog. Figuratively speaking that was when I was "dethroned" and thrown to the alligators in the moat of my own castle.

I've learned through my journey that if you pay close attention to others who surround you, the unexpected adversity bears love, compassion and support from some very unusual suspects. And ironically during my challenging times emotionally, physically and financially I learned from other people's random acts of kindness. I realize that I was not the only one facing difficult times and learned to step outside myself and my problems to give back to others. Most close to me, attribute it to my optimistic attitude. I credit the faith that I developed through the unexpected turn of events.  I never had the attitude that I do now when I was living in the castle with my "prince". I was too caught up in the royal lifestyle to appreciate what really matters - God, family, love, health, and integrity.

I had the same things that I have today but as a result of my journey through adversity, I have a different set of eyes. Today I look within as opposed to looking out. Through this I have experienced true healing accompanied by an openness to receive the good that lies within others.  For me, it's about opening my eyes, ears and heart in the midst of chaos and creating an awareness for the subtleties.  Every now and then I need to be reminded...

Just yesterday I had a sobering experience.  New neighbors moved in across the street.  Despite of my positivity, I do admit to a tendency to shut people out.  "I have enough friends."  "I can't stand people" are muttered often to myself...Or appear in the thought bubble over my head.  Hell, sometimes I can't help but say it out loud.  That is one of my shortcomings, I guess.  In any case, yesterday, my shortcomings were called out loud and clear.

About a month back, I met the new neighbors.  A nice couple from Michigan.  Both work from home. The wife (I still don't know her name) introduced herself first and then her husband, Mike.  I remember his name because he came out of nowhere, tripped up my driveway, almost falling flat on his face. I joked with Torie, saying Mike was so excited to meet us that he couldn't stand.  Or "how many cocktails do you think Mike had today?"  That was our running joke.  Until yesterday...

...I learned that Mike was just recently diagnosed with ALS AND at the same time that I was probably going straight to hell in a hand basket!  And taking my poor, innocent, naive 13 year old with me!

I immediately called Torie and the other kids down to confess my stupidity and used the sobering reminder that no matter what stage we are in our lives - good, bad, ugly - We must always remember that everybody has a story.  Our lives have been very stable lately compared to some of the past years but I allowed my battle scars get the best of me and my actions completely contradicted all that I had learned and really believed.  I decided that I am going to be less guarded when I see my new neighbors, find out what Mike's wife's name is and offer my assistance should they need it in their challenges days ahead.

So through the trouble I've seen and the sorrow I have come to know, I have embraced what really matters. Every now and then I need a reminder.  And now, as I continue to climb the mountain of life. I realize that slow and steady wins the race. Time is my friend - good and bad. I use it wisely and most of all I learn. I embrace all that is good no matter what comes my way. Today I am the Queen of my own castle. It is filled with love, gratitude and a good attitude. And for the record, there is no moat and no alligators. Only unicorns. :-)

To all my friends and family, May you face 2016 with pure alacrity! Don't look back at the challenges with disgust but embrace them. Draw strength from them and keep your eyes open for those who may happen to have to face adversity in 2016. You are prepared!  So offer them help, love, and support this year and get back to me in 2017.  My prediction is that the New Year's Facebook posts may take on a more positive tone. 

Another Kind of Mile High Club...

I have been told by many that they love when I travel because I always come back with some great stories.  I just assumed that everybody had travel experiences like I do but now I'm beginning to second guess that thought.   My boyfriend asks why I feel compelled to talk to everyone.  I like talking to people. And as my son Jack would tell people when he was little, "I can't help it, that is the way God made me!"

Besides, all of my encounters have really helped me to reflect on what kind of person I am. I use the people I meet as a barometer for what kind of person I am. Certain behaviors of strangers remind me of who I once was, how I am now and what I strive to be like.

Yesterday I was faced with two different beasts.  Each taught me a little something about myself. The first flight was only 25 minutes so I figured it would be uneventful especially at 5 in the morning.  However I was sorely mistaken as I sat next to rednecks, Jeb, Earl and Vern. The only things that were missing was a banjo, some overalls and a few teeth.  I say this as to only give you a visual.  However, they have caused me to think that I may have a tendency to stereotype and is probably something I need to work on. In any case, throw in the fact that it was Jeb's first time on a plane and the other two claimed to be experienced world travelers. 

As a result,  the jet setters found it to be comical how uncomfortable Jeb was with the prospect of a large piece of machinery like the one we were buckled into was going to get us to point "A" to point "B", 35,000 miles above the ground.  Breaking out in a sweat, Jeb proceeds to think aloud upon take off as he glances out of his window, "Isn't it funny that the plane just don't fall outta the sky?"  I politely respond with a nod and vehemently forced the visual of us actually falling "outta the sky" outta my head. And just as I close my eyes to say The Rosary, funny guy Earl poses the question to Jeb..."Hey, Is that duck tape on the wing?" which was promptly  followed by Vern's redneck, creepy giggle. Which ultimately caused my knee jerk New York reaction to look across the aisle and mouth "seriously dude?? You're an a#%!"  Thankfully, our interaction was interrupted by the pilot announcing our decent into Charlotte and I could eventually escape the scene from Deliverance...

...Only to be met on my next flight by the Barbara Streisand look alike who was similar in character to Mrs. Focker in "Meet The Fockers".  She sat next to me in the aisle knitting. And silly me, I initiated a conversation with her because it was as cold as a meat freezer in the plane and regretfully I asked her if she would knit me a blanket.  As she responded to me and we made idle chit chat throughout the flight, I noticed her purse. It was purple with more of a magenta tone, and shaped like a fish with different patterned patches as the scales like one you would buy a three year old at a crafts fair.  She noticed my pensiveness which was in reality, the thought bubble over my head that said "What the fu#% is that? and then she claimed that it was "bathroom :30!" which caused another thought bubble saying "What the fu#% are you talking about? And she ventured off to the ladies room. 

When she returned from the bathroom, she smelled so good and stupidly I commented, asking her what perfume she wears. Whispering, she responded with "ya know, I get real stinky down there" as she pulled her fish purse on her lap and yanked at it like she was de-hooking the thing.  She pulled out a spray bottle with some pastel blue and yellow colors out if the the purse pocket disguised as a fish gill. She proceeded to tell me how it worked like a charm on long trips like these.   Speechless, all I could do is throw my head back and silently ask God, "Why me?"  Can't I just sit next to someone normal when I travel?  Why do I have to sit next to the twit who sprays her twat with pretty smelling perfume?  

After regrouping, I excused myself and got up to go to the bathroom. "Oh sure honey. Ooooooh ooooh ooooh but wait, " as she chases me down the aisle reaching into the fish's mouth. "Take the spray!" she offers,  (in not so much of a whisper).  "I insist", she said.  "Try it out and if you like it, you can have it. I have more." 

I respond, "No really. It's okay", and briskly walk down the aisle to the lavatory, fussing to open the folding door but its locked. Waiting patiently and trying to keep Mrs. Focker at bay, I hear that sweet clicking sound of the bathroom lock sliding open,  doors unfold and who is standing there but the redneck who I called an a#% on my earlier flight.  Regretting that I didn't take Focker up on her crotch mace, I looked down and let the redneck pass peacefully. 

I went in, locked the collapsible door that protected me from all those traveling freaks, I regrouped and asked God to protect me from falling out of the sky, and prayed that the duck tape was secure and that sweet pants would leave me alone when I got back to my seat. The "Mile High Club" took on a whole new meaning as it turned into more of a sanctuary of prayer for me.

I slithered back into my seat and thankfully my Mile High Cathedral prayers worked because the pilot announced that we were making out initial decent in to San Diego.  I gathered my belongings together and reviewed my encounters during my traveling roadshow. And just as I was thinking how crazy Mrs. Focker was, she turned to me and so graciously thanked me for my conversation and wished me safe travels. I did the same and then scolded myself for being so judgy wudgy.  And as the wheels touched the ground, she clapped showing her appreciation for the pilot and his crew for getting us there safely...just like my Nana Barry would to do!  And that is when I realized that with every interaction with someone, comes something valuable if you are open to it.  As for my experience with Jeb, Earl and Vern?  I am still not sure about it but maybe can venture to guess that it was the old lesson of treat everyone with kindness because you never know when you will meet again...

From Ruins to Rainbows - Never Forget!

I recently had the wonderful fortune of being able to see Billy Joel in concert at Madison Square Garden.  For me, it was particularly special.  You see, Billy Joel is to me and my hometown, Oyster Bay, Long Island what Bruce Springsteen is to Asbury Park, NJ.  The iconic Piano Man played all of his hits as well as some lower profile songs that only a die-hard Billy fan would know. One song that really resonated with me than ever before was "We Didn't Start The Fire".

If you aren’t familiar with the song and its background, “We Didn’t Start The Fire” includes brief, rapid references to more than 100 headline events between 1949, the year of Joel’s birth and 1989 when the song was released.  Joel said that the song was written “from a place of malevolence” and that it reflected the attitude of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”  He sums up 40 years of famous Presidents, celebrities, kinds of cars, types of music and novels, political issues and tragic events into a 3 minute song.

There were plenty of noteworthy historical events that had unfolded in my 47 years and I actually think it would be cool to research them and see which ones were the most impactful.  But for today, I can say with much certainty that, it was September 11th when the biggest shoe dropped for me and all of America.

As the anniversary of that terrifying attack on our Country is eerily upon us again, I reflect…

I still brace myself for the wave of emotions that overcome me on this day.  I compartmentalize them for 364 days a year and allow myself to release on this day.  As I sat at Church early this morning, I found it more difficult to process and I find it harder to write about. 

After 14 years, it feels like it was just yesterday.  My memory often fails me at my age, but I can remember every detail from that horrific day. It's as vivid as the days I gave birth to each of my children.  Fourteen years later, I am still in disbelief over the events that unfolded and how it literally and figuratively turned that city black on such a beautiful, perfectly crisp, fall day.

The events on that day forced me to morph from the Wall Street wife who at the time was probably a little more consumed with what was had as opposed to what should have been offered.  Since then, I have committed myself to being more true to myself, my kids, my family, my Country!  I have learned to embrace the good out of the ruins of 9/11 yet on the anniversary each year, I am overcome with anger or the similar malevolence that Billy Joel describes in his powerful song.  Each year at this time, I mourn not only those I lost, I mourn the “what could have been?”  The things that never happened as a result of the actions of those vile terrorists.  The questions are just too long to list.

And as I sat quietly in a dark Church early this morning, I mourned the fact that I will never receive the answers to the “what could have been” questions.  I also reflected upon the incredible image of the rainbow that was captured over The Freedom Tower yesterday representing those lost but also reminding me of the many people, places and experiences that I have been blessed with as a result of the attacks upon our Country 14 years ago.  So I wipe my tears, and I buck up, shake it off and express my gratitude for all of the adversities that have forced me to grow into who I am today. 

I pray for all of my friends who have lost parents, spouses, and children.  I pray for the healing and growth of those directly affected.  I thank God for the brave acts of cops, firefighters and service men and women who became heroes that day at a very high cost.  In this critical time in our Country’s history, I beg for the safety of my family and friends and, my Country and I again attempt to embrace the uncomfortable realization that life must and does go on.

 

In the words of Billy Joel…

“We didn’t start the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire, No, we didn't light it but we tried to fight it…

We didn't start the fire, It was always burning since the world's been turning.
We didn't start the fire, but when we are gone, It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

My wish upon a star.

My Wish Upon a Star

I could give you every detail of the days preceding her birth. From the way she kicked while in my belly to the first labor pain in the sand trap on 17 at Deepdale Golf Club, to shopping at Home Depot with my mother and indicating that it was probably wise to head home, to her father declaring “It’s go time!” at North Shore University Hospital after the doctor confirmed that I was in labor. Still in denial of the prospect of becoming a parent and the fear of what was physically ahead of me, I asked the doctor if we could just stop for a glass of wine and watch Kentucky vs. Arizona in the NCAA Championships. Without skipping a beat, the doctor responded, “You will have your own March Madness if you don’t get to your hospital in the city now.”
We trudged through a Nor’ Easter on the LIE, heading West towards the city in order to check in to NYU Medical Center. Hailey, still in my belly was causing a decent amount of physical pain combined with the emotional torture of “just letting you know I’m in here, but I’m not sure if I am ready to come out.” Thirty-six hours later, it really was “go time” with an emergency C-Section (prayer answered!). And there she was, Hailey Elizabeth Wilson, named after Halley’s comet.
Now I didn’t study as much as I should have in high school but I did learn that Halley's Comet is arguably the most famous comet…“A "periodic" comet that returns to Earth about every 75 years, making it possible for it to be seen twice in a lifetime.” (http://www.space.com/19878-halleys-comet.html) Comets are the largest objects in our Solar System and have tails that can extend millions of miles into space.
The inside of the comet is made up of frozen particles but as the comet moves closer to the Sun, the heat from the Sun turns the outer ice into gas and the solid particles are released as dust as solar winds push it away which causes it to form the beautiful light show seen from Earth. (http://www.kidseclipse.com/pages/a1b3c0d3.htm)
The last time it was here was in 1986, (the year I graduated from high school) and it is projected to return in 2061. I remember the news and the sight of it all having a big impact on me and had declared then that my first born would be named after the infamous comet. Hailey, since the moment of conception has really exemplified the beautiful qualities of the mesmerizing trail of a comet.
Fast forward, eighteen years…
Today, we are packing the car for College. Bittersweet to say the least. What was once the most dreaded time of year between fighting for school supplies, spending $200 on a stupid calculator and watching my checks from my check book vanish as I write fifteen different $5 checks to the school for who knows what, I found myself nostalgic and weepy this week as I walked through what once was the most dreaded time of the year.
Awakened early by the need to write, I have reflected on the collection of teachings which I hope that I have instilled in my kids over the years. I have a few that especially apply during college years. Number one and twenty five should be a constant…
1. Start your day with a prayer.
2. If you don’t have some level of fear, be very afraid. Change is scary yet can be so exciting at the same time. Embrace it!
3. Don’t judge others as you don’t know what circumstances they have encountered or endured in their lifetime. Everybody has a story. Listen to it as it will reveal more than you know. However, assess words vs. actions. Actions of others will be your barometer so set your boundaries based on your reading.
4. When you find yourself nervous and insecure around a particular person, show an interest in them. Expressing interest in others and making others feel important and makes you way more likable than the guy who always wants to talk about himself.
5. Don’t ever violate “Girl Code”! The bonds of friendship/sisters are as strong as you choose to make them.
6. Each day perform a random act of kindness.
7. Trust your instincts. Go with your gut. If it feels right, run with it. If it feels like trouble, RUN!
8. ALWAYS leap with faith.
9. Be honest with yourself. It's the only way to be honest with others
10. Let passion drive you to work hard to achieve your dreams. Don’t let anyone/anything stand in your way but be honest and fair.
11. Clean your room, make your bed every morning and pull the shades up to let the sunshine in.
12. Boys are stupid. They need boundaries. It order to keep them educated, set boundaries from the very beginning and set them firmly.
13. Pray for the boys.
14. You can either fall or you can fly…FLY!
15. Stop. Look. Listen. Evaluate. If you let life take charge, things begin to spiral out of control. Take charge of your life.
16. Always introduce yourself if someone doesn't. Shake their hand and shake it firmly.
17. Travel. Study abroad.
18. Call your grandparents once a week. It makes their day and usually creates a knee-jerk urge to send money.
19. If you start it, finish it.
20. Remember that your experiences don’t define you but help you evolve into who you become. Whether you enjoyed an experience or not, chalk it up as just that. It will come up in conversation at some point in your life. The more experience you have the more interesting you are.
21. Choose your voice over your fingers. Meet up or call someone instead of texting.
22. Make your own list of wisdom throughout your college experience. As you reflect back over the years, you won’t believe your incredible transformation but may understand how you got there.
23. You are only as credible as your last credit score. Start building your credit now. Learn about the benefits of a good credit score as opposed to a bad one.
24. “I love you to the moon and back!” And I appreciate you as much as you do me.
25. Be as impactful as the comet that you were named after. Turn towards the Sun, let the Solar winds push you and exemplify the beautiful trail of qualities that God has given you. Mesmerize others AND don’t forget to call your mother!

It's "go time" again!