HOW NUTRITIOUS ARE YOUR APPLES? 🍏🍏

WARNING: This post is about nutrition for the SOUL...

I’m always refreshed when I grocery shop on Sundays. Feeling hopeful as I enter the produce department of the grocery store with a new start to the week and how I get to choose from a healthy selection of fruits 🍉 and vegetables 🍅.

9 times out of 10, I find myself with quality choices. But every now and then I’ll get home and take a bite out of a mealy apple or a flavorless orange.  I don’t eat it.  It’s a difficult choice because I just paid for it, but I’m forced to throw it away or take it back.

This weekend I had that “A-HA” moment recognizing that despite the occasional disappointment in the “pieces of fruit” around me, I have similar choices with whom I surround myself.  

Whether I eat healthy or not, or choose to toss the apple, either choice has long lasting effects. 

I am on an upward trajectory towards between my media/marketing career, the launch of Steppingstone Haven Yoga & Wellness Studio, and the progress I’ve been making on the simultaneous clean-up of the residual mess of co-dependent relationships, marriage, children, divorce, bankruptcy, and the loss of loved ones.

Since making a personal and conscious decision to re-ignite a long-time, dormant desire of opening my yoga and wellness studio, I’m under the microscope with some and have fielded some pretty harsh judgement lately. 

Things like…Why are you doing this? Who are you to do this? How do you expect to make money doing this?  What do I know about yoga and meditation, life coaching and spiritual breath work and healing?

On the flip side, I have also received incredible support and understanding from others after spending a week of “eating” clean, and here are the answers I’ve come up with ...

Why wouldn’t I do this?

Who am I not to do this?

I have a business plan that reflects the opportunity to make money.  I also understand that I am investing in myself and my beliefs.

And what do I know about yoga and meditation, life coaching and breath work????

I know that it saved me from a very recent and turbulent two years of my life. I know the effects of practicing. I know the growth that I’ve achieved from it. Why not share my experience with my community, and the opportunity to do the same?

Over the past week I am re-ignited by my recent nutritional choices. And I don’t mean food. I mean the people I encounter who fuel my soul.  Who fuels your soul?

“From Another Angle”...A Bird’s Eye View

Before starting my early morning routine, I let the dogs out leaving the back door cracked open so they could let themselves in and out while I worked. I was soon interrupted by a rustling noise outside my office. Since I didn’t hear the dogs barking, I assumed it was Yegge (my boyfriend) in the kitchen.  I went out to say good morning but to my surprise, I was greeted by two birds circling between my kitchen, living room, hallway and study.  The dogs just sat there aloof, patiently awaiting their treats and not even phased by the fact that there were two birds taking flight throughout the house. 

Needless to say, between the chaos of the birds’ flights and them crapping all over my house, I screamed for Yegge to help me corral the birds, open the doors, and herd the dogs in order to encourage our little visitors’ flight back in that brave new world we all live in.  After the birds’ ordeal was over, and they flew free, Yegge cuddled with the pups and said…

“Bentley, what’s up with you?  You’re a cockapoo!  A cocker spaniel is supposed to be a “bird-dog!”

Thought bubble over Bentley’s head (or anyone who is told what they are “supposed to be”): 

“Oh okay, then I suck - but damn it, I am going to try as hard as I can to be what you want me to be in order to get your approval.”

But here is the truth…Bentley nor YOU will never be what anyone wants them to be! And until people forfeit the angles of expectations, identify who, they themselves really want to be and embrace who they are, they will spin in circles of dissatisfaction trying to live up to others views.  It happens every day! 

Cue in Steppingstone Haven’s weekly topic of “authenticity” …

The focus has been on “being true to oneself”.  In my last blog, “This Is Me”, I highlighted some of the “phrases” that society, family, and friends impose upon us along with the various interpretations that people have.  It usually occurs in our informative years, become embedded into our subconscious minds and follows us into our adult lives as limited beliefs - ultimately affecting our quality of life. But remember, with Awareness – Exploration – Knowledge AND Action…

ANYONE (yes ANYONE) can become EVERYTHING

THEY want to be

AND They can do ANYTHING they put their minds to in order to activate the powers within!   The sky is the limit.

NOW GO FLY!    

This Is ME!

Some become paralyzed by change.  Others plow through it.  When circumstances change, we choose to reject and remain “stuck” or accept and “activate” the “Wonder Woman” or “Superman” powers within. 

I recently took the BIG step of attending the first of 2 three-day trainings towards a Master Life Coaching certification.  For some, they may say “What’s the big deal?”  For me, it was terrifying. I made every excuse in the book related to not having enough time, money and energy.  I made excuses because I was “stuck” in fear - Fear of rejection.  Fear of not being worthy.  Fear of failing.  But I figured it out this weekend with a little help from some friends in the same arena and my dog, Bentley. 😊

How many of you heard or said the following in your lifetime?  What was/is your personal translation?

“Be careful what you say”  

 My personal TRANSLATION: “Conform”

“Don’t offend anyone”  

 My personal TRANSLATION: “Don’t speak up”

“Do the right thing”                                     

My personal TRANSLATION: “Be compliant”

And the most recent one for me?

“Know your audience”                                

My personal TRANSLATION: “Don’t be your authentic self”

Sound familiar?  How many of you translate them as they are above?  Or have you even thought about it until now?  I’m not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on T.V., but I am going to venture to guess that the expectations society has placed upon us are interpreted similarly often.  The subconscious mind makes up around 95% of your brain.  Every time you have an idea, or an emotion, a memory or an image from the past, it is the subconscious mind which communicates to the conscious mind.  For me, there are triggers for a limited belief system which I like to refer to my “belief pool”.  When it’s limited, there’s no reason to even bring a bathing suit.  There’s no water in the well, and a big sign that saying, “NO DIVING!”

Like Bentley’s (the therapy dog) issue with the disruptive arrival and relationship with his sister Sadie, we all have experienced some life tilts at one point or another.  Whether we are facing a gut-wrenching divorce, a job relocation, job loss, a career change or financial ruin, the “belief pool” needs to be full! 

So maybe look at how you can not only respond differently but how you can FEEL towards these common restraints that we are often faced with, and turn them around. 

“Be careful what you say”           

My personal RESPONSE: “If I don’t ask questions, what can I learn?”

“Don’t offend anyone”                

My personal RESPONSE: “I’ll say what I think nicely.”

“Do the right thing”

 My personal RESPONSE: “How do you know this is the right for me?”

Change is inevitable.  Our reaction is fateful.  So, toss out the bathing suit and go skinny dipping! But whatever you do?  Know this!  There are no two people alike, and each travel different journeys in life.  What we see from where we each stand is a different view from where the other is so...

“Know your audience” and just BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!

And you will attract like-minded people, or those around you will adjust.  And if they don’t?  Well then…SO BE IT!

#perfectlyflawed #embracewhatsgood

Shut Down,Turn Off, or Burn? You Decide or Your Employer May Decide For You

Seven years ago, I made a conscious decision to pay strict attention to my work-life balance. I had been pushed to the ledge at my last job. Around that time, I had attended a parent meeting for the travel abroad program that my daughter was scheduled to go on when she was in high school. As I was sitting there asking questions, I noticed that the countries they were visiting included Italy...The one country I never got to go to in my 10 months abroad back in 1990. I traveled to many places but Italy was one I forfeited because my best friend came over to visit and I spent most of my graduation money.  So I informed my daughter that I would like to go on her trip too. I promised I wouldn’t cramp her style. After a little bit of coaxing and some bribery, she conceded.  

I mention that story because it was the first vacation I had taken where I didn’t have access to my computer.  And after experiencing a complete shut down, turned off mode, and being present in every moment, I made the commitment to making my vacations that way moving forward.

I took a whole week off last week. It was prompted by the craziness of gearing up for 2020 planning, and all of the coverage I’ve been seeing about physician burnout lately. According to HealthLeaders and Bluepoint Leadership Development, “Studies show that professional coaching may reduce physician burnout by 20%.

I decided that I didn’t need to be a physician nor did I need to play one on TV to be burnt out. I confidently met all of the criteria for being sizzled.  In fact, my colleagues would likely describe my state of mind over the past month as “up in flames”.  So I decided to not only take a week off. I also signed up to work with a life/business coach!

This past week, I turned off my notifications, spent time with my family and a good friend during my last minute ”staycation”.  And guess what?  I didn’t spontaneously combust, and neither did my business...thanks to my colleagues covering for me. 

Now I’m ready for a productive week. I’m grateful for my awareness of needing an attitude adjustment, but I’m most appreciative to be working for an employer who understands the importance of preserving its peeps. 

Check in with yourself...

Are you able to identify when you need a break?  And how supportive is your employer?  

Game, (Mind) SET, Match!

Being from NY, this time of year is always memorable for me.  There’s a distinct feeling in the fall air and the stellar sunsets over Long Island Sound that trigger childhood memories of attending The US Open each year.  I haven’t been to The US Open in the past 15 years, but each year I tune in for 2-weeks straight, watching intently as athletes rise and fall through the brackets of their dreams of being the champion on Arthur Ashe Stadium’s center court.

Photo credit: Darren Carroll/USTA

This weekend, I witnessed what I consider not only to be the most exemplary state of athleticism, but one of a stellar and unbreakable, mindset.  Admittedly, I am somewhat ashamed of initially passing judgement on the 23-year old Russian, Daniile Medvedev who was described as a “villain” in The New York Post for making rude gestures to the crowd heckling him in a previous match that week. He just struck me as a “punk”.  I was pulling for Rafa Nadal anyway, who is currently ranked No. 2 in the world in men’s singles tennis.  But as the match progressed, my perception of Medvedev changed drastically as the commentators were writing Medvedev off and prematurely claiming victory for Nadal.  Suddenly, I was won over by the “villainous punk”, and I found myself cheering for him as I witnessed the most admirable turn around in any sport I had ever seen.  I was intrigued by the mindset of the young Russian, and how he magically willed his mind and his body to fight back after getting kicked down in the first two sets.  What was even more impressive was the way Nadal responded as he raised his game even higher.  Mad respect for both players!

Medvedev ultimately ended up losing the match however he earned tremendous recognition from the tough crowd who were heckling the “villain” earlier that week.  News headlines now include him in the category of “warrior” along with his fearless opponent, Rafa Nadal.  The levels of athleticism and displays of mastered mindsets were beyond admirable and equally inspiring.

 

So it provoked me to question myself… “How deep can you dig?”  As I witnessed the adversity and challenge that Nadal gave Medvedev, I reflected on what moves me to dig deeper in order to achieve a stronger and more disciplined mindset in my personal and professional life.  Medvedev learned that he had more in his emotional and physical tank than he ever imagined.  He even said in an interview that after losing the first two sets, he struggled with what he was going to say in his speech when he lost the third set.  He was then interrupted by the visualization of being a champion stewing inside him, and before you knew it, the battle begun as Medvedev transformed and became not only a master of the court, but a master of his mind.  Although the fight was over with a win by Nadal, the battle was not lost by Medvedev.  The 23-year old Russian has nothing to be ashamed of.  I’m convinced that this isn’t the last we will see of him.

It’s no wonder why such renowned companies sponsor and align themselves with The US Open.    Whether you are a financial institution that provides the highest quality of service, a consulting firm specializing in innovation, a healthcare system acclaimed for excellence in research, patient care and education, a Swiss watch manufacturer that prides itself on performance and prestige, or a technology company that is tasked with delivering increased productivity with artificial intelligence…The environment and mindset are what differentiates them from competitors.  It is mindset that determines the precision of their overall performance and the reliability of reaching goals.

  

If you and your company were on center court, would your mindset be a one of a Champion?