I don’t know about you but this pandemic has caused me to take a closer look at myself,
my life
and my relationships.
Aside from adjusting to the obvious quarantine quandaries, I was aggravated by the spotlight that had been shed upon where I’ve been,
where I am now, and where I want to be. As a result, I’ve made a commitment to making some enhancements for an even better life.
At first, I was bothered by the awareness I had tapped into my relationship values, needs and desires. It was uncomfortable because I knew that if I wanted change in my life and in all of my relationships, I needed to speak up. More than ever, I needed to get vulnerable. It was obvious that whether I said something or not, it was going to affect what my future looked like.
One of the most important relationships in my life is with my boyfriend, Yegge of ten years. I recently redefined specific goals for my life which included him in the years ahead, so it was important for me to get his buy in.
Over this pandemic pause, I recognize that I haven’t always been clear with Yegge about my relationship goals. For awhile, I shoved a lot under the rug but I decided that it wasn’t too late to say something. So without blame and judgement, I took a chance and asked him if he’d be willing to dedicate a little more quality time towards improving our relationship.
And he said “YES”!
We decided that each of us would alternate planning a weekly date, and yesterday he chose a hiking adventure at Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina. After a two hour car ride attempting to start but effectively dodge conversation about “us”, we were distracted by the exploration of trails along the Blue Ridge Mountains filled with panoramic views, flowers, rivers, falls and caverns, swinging bridges with a 360 degree view from 5,280 feet in the air.
We also visited an animal habitat of cougars, bears and eagles!
The result of this particular pandemic reflection was a scary, vulnerable shake up however it was not without surprises and rewards! The journey lent itself to...
...a common adventure and experience creating effortless conversation that we wouldn’t normally have.
...A little tour through Yegge’s hometown as he shared memories of high school I haven’t heard before.
...Three meals together and little excursions into local markets for honey and cheese.
...A reluctant yet committed listen to “The Four Agreements” book on tape with conversation about it on the way home.
...Feelings of validation through vulnerability from stepping outside our comfort zones.
And the understanding that we don’t know what we don’t know if nobody speaks up.
So I encourage anyone who is sitting on what I call the “relationship growth fence”. Stand on the fence or hop even higher on a suspended bridge for a different perspective.
If it matters to you,
be vulnerable,
give it a shot,
And maybe even check out “The Four Agreements”, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I’m excited for what the days ahead bring us and equally excited how it may inspire others. If it’s important to you, it’s worth the work.
#embracewhatsgood #choosegrowth #nothingchangesifnothingchanges
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