Don’t Forget to Breathe

Inhale...

It's been awhile since I've written anything for my blog. Life has been busy between one kid’s mysterious autoimmune disease, one's concussion and eye ticks and one eleven year old's incessant aspiration of landing that big acting role!!  Oh, and did I mention the full time job and then just dealing with everyday life?
 
However, the chaos of it all was pleasantly interrupted by an email from an old neighbor, Colette who wanted to let me know how much she admired me.  She sent me a "Warrior Award" via Facebook and told me to pass it on to ten people I truly admired for the challenges that they have faced and adversity that they deal with on a daily basis or have already overcome. I usually don't partake in  things like that however it was a message that made me feel good and I thought that it would be a good opportunity for me to pay it forward.  My friend Loren came to mind immediately and I promptly sent out the same message to her.  Our friendship began as an acquaintance via an introduction through another friend back when I lived in New York.  But she is one of those people who I just had an instant connection with the minute I met her.  I consider her a warrior because she carries herself with such grace as she deals with the daily challenge of caring for her autistic son.  Her optimism, humility and humor are what make her shine.  And honestly, up until receiving the uplifting message of my induction into warrior status, I never had the opportunity to tell her that.
 
After carefully choosing my warriors, I had the pleasant surprise of receiving a message from my graceful, optimistic, humble and funny friend, Loren.  She had invited me to be part of an online group called “Fav Ladies” which she had just created.  The “Fav Ladies” is a group of women who Loren described as "getting it". You know those who really cut through the bullshit of life. Tactfully tell it like it is and at the end of the day aren't afraid to show people who they are even at their most vulnerable moments.
 
The invitation really couldn’t have come at a better time.  Between my kid’s illnesses and learning disabilities, standard demands of work and the management of everyday life, things have been exceptionally stressful.  Loren's invitation to her group of "normal" women was a timely relief since lately I've been feeling like I've been manning this dysfunctional ship alone.  I am partly to blame as I have a tendency to wear my "I'm too proud pants" and shut certain people out.  But Loren’s invitation really snapped me out of the funk that I have been in.

It has only been a few days since I have been part of this brilliant online club where the only dues are to let your guard down and get real.  Women share pictures of their families, their kids’ art work, inspirational quotes and a variety of personal stories ranging from their struggles with aging, menopause, addiction, weight gain.  It serves as a platform for suggestions/advice, open discussion, supportive comments and expressions of inspiration and admiration.

One woman Leslie described the unthinkable loss of her baby boy who succumbed to a grueling 10 month battle with brain cancer.  It was at that moment when I decided to cancel the pity party I had been having for myself.  She started her post with the word “Inhale” insinuating how painful the story that she was about to tell was going to be.  She told us about the day she had first met Loren and was asked how many children she had.  She ended her entry with the word “Exhale” indicating the relief of finishing the story of  dealing with horror of the real world without her first born.  I could feel how raw her wounds were and was pained yet grateful for her transparency.  I realized that experiences that painful literally require living one breath at a time and that there are no coincidences as to who is placed in our daily paths. And just as we question if we'll ever be able to breathe again freely, people like these “Warriors” or “Fav Ladies” are placed in our lives to aid us in our breathing when we just can't find the strength to release and exhale or buck up and inhale.

Lately, I have been struggling with my own breathing and I honestly believe that if it weren’t for my induction into the Warrior Hall of Fame by Colette, I would not have crossed paths with Loren or Leslie or any of the other “Fav Ladies” who gave me the oxygen I needed.  I am happy to report that my I am breathing easier today as a result of the paths I have crossed this week and when I breathe easier, I am a much more fun, compassionate and supportive person to be around.  So Colette, Loren and Leslie, thank you!  And I can assure you that my family is just as grateful.  I haven’t been the easiest person to live with lately. 

Exhale...