Forgive me for being a little late to the 2016 FB post about the
New Year. I'm still in a bit of a food coma but finally returning to reality. I
have also been mulling over several posts that I've seen on Facebook from
people expressing relief about 2015 being behind them and how they intend to
"tackle" 2016. Some of them carrying a variety of tones
including anger, desperation even an exhausted whininess about them.
With all due respect, I get it but the FB posts over pretending or wishing life experiences never happened is equivalent to nails on a chalk board to me. I've experienced consecutive years like that and I think as a result of my attitude, maybe my view on them is somewhat different. In fact, I even did some research on my New Year's FB posts of years' past and saw that not once did I bitch about what happened that year. In fact, I sensed a tremendous amount of gratitude for the paths that it put me on. However, I will admit that the darkest moments in my life could have been interpreted as a black comedy through my cynicism. There were a few that I actually LOL'd over and several posts included #youcantmakethisshitup! Because honestly you couldn't!!! It still could make for some great sitcom material.
With all due respect, I get it but the FB posts over pretending or wishing life experiences never happened is equivalent to nails on a chalk board to me. I've experienced consecutive years like that and I think as a result of my attitude, maybe my view on them is somewhat different. In fact, I even did some research on my New Year's FB posts of years' past and saw that not once did I bitch about what happened that year. In fact, I sensed a tremendous amount of gratitude for the paths that it put me on. However, I will admit that the darkest moments in my life could have been interpreted as a black comedy through my cynicism. There were a few that I actually LOL'd over and several posts included #youcantmakethisshitup! Because honestly you couldn't!!! It still could make for some great sitcom material.
Twenty years ago I began a new chapter in my life, preparing for
the so called "fairy tale" sharing my life with my so called
"Prince". I had the hopes and dreams that most girls have in their
20's have to start a family and live happily ever after.
I realize now that through some nightmares came new dreams. I was fortunate enough to have three beautiful children but unfortunately my "prince" turned into a frog. Figuratively speaking that was when I was "dethroned" and thrown to the alligators in the moat of my own castle.
I've learned through my journey that if you pay close attention to others who surround you, the unexpected adversity bears love, compassion and support from some very unusual suspects. And ironically during my challenging times emotionally, physically and financially I learned from other people's random acts of kindness. I realize that I was not the only one facing difficult times and learned to step outside myself and my problems to give back to others. Most close to me, attribute it to my optimistic attitude. I credit the faith that I developed through the unexpected turn of events. I never had the attitude that I do now when I was living in the castle with my "prince". I was too caught up in the royal lifestyle to appreciate what really matters - God, family, love, health, and integrity.
I had the same things that I have today but as a result of my journey through adversity, I have a different set of eyes. Today I look within as opposed to looking out. Through this I have experienced true healing accompanied by an openness to receive the good that lies within others. For me, it's about opening my eyes, ears and heart in the midst of chaos and creating an awareness for the subtleties. Every now and then I need to be reminded...
I realize now that through some nightmares came new dreams. I was fortunate enough to have three beautiful children but unfortunately my "prince" turned into a frog. Figuratively speaking that was when I was "dethroned" and thrown to the alligators in the moat of my own castle.
I've learned through my journey that if you pay close attention to others who surround you, the unexpected adversity bears love, compassion and support from some very unusual suspects. And ironically during my challenging times emotionally, physically and financially I learned from other people's random acts of kindness. I realize that I was not the only one facing difficult times and learned to step outside myself and my problems to give back to others. Most close to me, attribute it to my optimistic attitude. I credit the faith that I developed through the unexpected turn of events. I never had the attitude that I do now when I was living in the castle with my "prince". I was too caught up in the royal lifestyle to appreciate what really matters - God, family, love, health, and integrity.
I had the same things that I have today but as a result of my journey through adversity, I have a different set of eyes. Today I look within as opposed to looking out. Through this I have experienced true healing accompanied by an openness to receive the good that lies within others. For me, it's about opening my eyes, ears and heart in the midst of chaos and creating an awareness for the subtleties. Every now and then I need to be reminded...
Just yesterday I had a sobering experience. New neighbors
moved in across the street. Despite of my positivity, I do admit to a
tendency to shut people out. "I have enough friends."
"I can't stand people" are muttered often to myself...Or appear
in the thought bubble over my head. Hell, sometimes I can't help but say
it out loud. That is one of my shortcomings, I guess. In any case,
yesterday, my shortcomings were called out loud and clear.
About a month back, I met the new neighbors. A nice couple from Michigan. Both work from home. The wife (I still don't know her name) introduced herself first and then her husband, Mike. I remember his name because he came out of nowhere, tripped up my driveway, almost falling flat on his face. I joked with Torie, saying Mike was so excited to meet us that he couldn't stand. Or "how many cocktails do you think Mike had today?" That was our running joke. Until yesterday...
...I learned that Mike was just recently diagnosed with ALS AND at the same time that I was probably going straight to hell in a hand basket! And taking my poor, innocent, naive 13 year old with me!
I immediately called Torie and the other kids down to confess my stupidity and used the sobering reminder that no matter what stage we are in our lives - good, bad, ugly - We must always remember that everybody has a story. Our lives have been very stable lately compared to some of the past years but I allowed my battle scars get the best of me and my actions completely contradicted all that I had learned and really believed. I decided that I am going to be less guarded when I see my new neighbors, find out what Mike's wife's name is and offer my assistance should they need it in their challenges days ahead.
So through the trouble I've seen and the sorrow I have come to know, I have embraced what really matters. Every now and then I need a reminder. And now, as I continue to climb the mountain of life. I realize that slow and steady wins the race. Time is my friend - good and bad. I use it wisely and most of all I learn. I embrace all that is good no matter what comes my way.
About a month back, I met the new neighbors. A nice couple from Michigan. Both work from home. The wife (I still don't know her name) introduced herself first and then her husband, Mike. I remember his name because he came out of nowhere, tripped up my driveway, almost falling flat on his face. I joked with Torie, saying Mike was so excited to meet us that he couldn't stand. Or "how many cocktails do you think Mike had today?" That was our running joke. Until yesterday...
...I learned that Mike was just recently diagnosed with ALS AND at the same time that I was probably going straight to hell in a hand basket! And taking my poor, innocent, naive 13 year old with me!
I immediately called Torie and the other kids down to confess my stupidity and used the sobering reminder that no matter what stage we are in our lives - good, bad, ugly - We must always remember that everybody has a story. Our lives have been very stable lately compared to some of the past years but I allowed my battle scars get the best of me and my actions completely contradicted all that I had learned and really believed. I decided that I am going to be less guarded when I see my new neighbors, find out what Mike's wife's name is and offer my assistance should they need it in their challenges days ahead.
So through the trouble I've seen and the sorrow I have come to know, I have embraced what really matters. Every now and then I need a reminder. And now, as I continue to climb the mountain of life. I realize that slow and steady wins the race. Time is my friend - good and bad. I use it wisely and most of all I learn. I embrace all that is good no matter what comes my way.
To all my friends and
family, May you face 2016 with pure alacrity! Don't look back at the challenges
with disgust but embrace them. Draw strength from them and keep your eyes open
for those who may happen to have to face adversity in 2016. You are prepared!
So offer them help, love, and support this year and get back to me in
2017. My prediction is that the New Year's Facebook posts may take on a
more positive tone.
